Picture Perfect, well almost!
As expected, my body changed during my pregnancies. I
didn’t put a lot of weight on, mainly due to the morning
sickness, but I did gain a beautiful bump where my babies
were developing. There were days when I would look down
and smile knowing that my baby was safe and healthy. But
then there would be times when I would feel irritable and
huge and I would be counting down the days to my due date.
It’s a rollercoaster ride of so many thoughts and feeling.
Sometimes I would look down to admire my baby bump and
my mind would tell me that my body was overweight and
After I had my first baby, I was obsessed with losing weight
and getting my body back in pre-pregnancy shape. I thought
this was my own choice and it would make me feel so much
better about myself. But it was insecurity about my
relationship with my partner at the time. If only I’d confronted
the truth then (that being a size eight doesn’t keep people
loyal), I might have enjoyed those first few weeks as a new
mother a little bit better than I did.
I also had the picture-perfect images of the media and social
media adding to this though, even without the influence of
my partner at the time.
This was not my mind and body telling me to exercise or
change my lifestyle, this was external pressure and it’s not the
healthy way of making changes. Making a change should be
We all have at least one friend on our social media whose life
looks so beautiful and picture perfect, to the point where you
think that they must have professional photographers. They
never have a mental breakdown on their social media. You
know those posts where you personally spend hours writing,
delete every attempt, then finally get it right, post it and then
immediately regret it.
Thinking that the time spent in that negative moment won’t
affect you or your life, isn’t true. When you take a step back to
see the bigger picture, it’s you who has the problem here and
not the person who has posted about their lives onto their
own social media account. It hurts, I know! That moment
when you’re taking all of the rubbish, confusion, lack of sleep
and craziness that is your own life, out onto people who don’t
even know you’re doing it, and whose stories you don’t know
beyond social media.
That’s not who you are, or what you believe in. Does driving
negativity out onto our friends, family and complete strangers
make our own lives more positive or make us feel any better
inside? No, it doesn’t. Reign this in and adapt a healthier
approach to managing all of these unwanted and unneeded
thoughts and behaviours.
Not feeling picture-perfect was one reason that I hibernated at
the start of motherhood. The hibernation of a new mum is
more common than I thought. I didn’t realise that until I
shared my story with other women who I trusted enough to
know that they would not judge me or label me as a bad
When I had my first baby, I wasn’t aware of any baby classes
or groups that I could go to and share my thoughts with other
mums. There must have been local groups for me, we weren't
in the stone ages as I’m only talking thirteen years ago, but I
didn’t know who to ask. I also didn’t feel sure enough of
myself as a mum to know that there are always ladies out
there who will make you feel welcome.
The younger me thought all other mothers were glowing and
happy with their lives. I didn't for one second feel like there
was anyone in the world who could relate to what I was going
through. Your mind does have a funny way of making you
feel like you’re alone, when in reality there are so many
women who can connect with what you are experiencing.
I’m so grateful that I woke up to what was going on in my life.
I realised that I had the power to overcome the obstacles that
were causing me to slip into such a dark, lonely world. If you
can’t feel your own worth enough to make the changes
needed, then reach out to the women around you. I guarantee
it won’t be long until you feel valued by yourself as you’ll find
that those women need your help too. Together you can
support one another moving forward with your motherhood