“Sometimes I felt it was better to just be quiet and get on with it because I didn't want to sound silly or as if I didn't know what I was doing.” Claire
Fears from past experiences, like being told you're doing something wrong, not feeling like you’ve got anyone who understands you or a relationship ending, can hold us back from reaching our life goals. Whether that’s building your own empire or even just getting out of the house for a walk, sometimes we find it hard to admit that the past is restricting us from moving forward.
Set a clear vision of what it is that you want to talk about and write down notes if it helps you. Open up and speak out. Make it clear as day when you are asking for support. Even if you don't have all of the answers, start small and tell those close to you that have a problem that you need help with.
Holding everything inside just makes it harder to release when it gets too much. I personally know how messy it can get when you've kept everything in for so long that you explode with emotions.
A perfect example that was explained to me during a workshop I attended in a school, was to imagine the children’s emotions being the bubbles in a bottle of pop. The child might shake them in the morning before school from negative words, actions and behaviour of those who surround him or her. And we all know what happens when you disturb a bottle of pop. So, when the child came to school, our approach was to open that lid of emotions gently and mindfully, so that the bubbles, aka emotions. didn’t spill out all over the place, but instead released the pressure slowly, causing minimal mess and distress.
This theory fits in perfectly with some of the stories I've heard across my platform of women, many who build up so much emotion through pregnancy and motherhood that it all gets too much, and they explode. This is why we need to feel comfortable with speaking out and supporting one another though the tough times as well as the happier times.
You can keep so much to yourself that the negative thoughts and emotions start to become your natural way of thinking. They overrun your rational thoughts and drown any positivity out of you. It then becomes easier to give in to them.
Those negative thoughts start to leak through your words, your actions and your behaviour. You can become unrecognisable to everyone around you, and most importantly, to yourself.
Who is this woman? Why am I shouting so much? Why am I crying all the time? And why do I spend my days talking to myself in my head about my worries and not to those who love and support me?
This isn't like you, you know this. What does help is to focus on the present moment and reach out to those around you.
I'm always here if you need to reach out for support.