You need to get out more It’s not healthy for you or the baby You need some time to yourself If you wanted to, then you would find the time
I’m sure you can write your own list of opinions and advice that was directed at you during pregnancy and motherhood. Most of the time it’s advice from friends, family and professionals intended to give you more knowledge. It’s given as a sign of support, and when worded correctly, can make a massive different to how you feel during pregnancy and motherhood. But it can feel like an attack.
It’s only natural that the people close to you want to support you through what can become a challenging journey. No matter how strong your character or personality is, the changes, feelings and shifts in your pattern can overcome the strength, and leave you feeling weak and vulnerable. Feeling like this can become noticeable to friends and family, who can automatically assume that your new-found emotions and behaviours are because you’re not coping with pregnancy or motherhood. But I think we all cope, even through the most challenging times. The best advice we could all receive would be, ‘don’t forget about yourself.’
When I had my first baby, it was difficult to remember who I was because motherhood was taking me away from the path society expects from someone who is barely out of their teens. Everyone around me was at university or working full time, going out over the weekends and basically having all of the ‘Me Time’ that they wanted.
Did I envy them? Yes, I guess at the time I did. Do I envy them now? Not at all. My children are growing up beautiful and I’m a very proud mother. But that time when I did envy them was because I forgot about myself. I kept listening to who I was ‘supposed’ to be at that age. The real truth is that we can do anything we want to, when we want to.
You can find yourself thinking about the things you can’t do now that you’re pregnant or a mother. It’s easily done, and it doesn’t mean you’re a terrible person, or a terrible mother. You are just remembering you.
You could try sharing stories about the ‘Me Time’ you experienced to your children before they came along. It’s natural and it teaches them about who their mother was and, most importantly, who their mum is.
Always here @Clarebowers_